SUGAR HICCUP II

WEEK 30. 5

I love the internet! I love Google...

I had not mentioned this, but Little Bean has been getting the hiccups...well...a lot more often these past 2 weeks. More so, this last week. She even seems to be on schedule too. After we eat dinner (5-7pm) she, on cue, gets the hiccups! I had noticed the pattern but didn't want to think of it as an issue but as conscientious as I have been of everything at the home stretch, for some reason, I kinda panicked this particular evening. I grabbed my laptop and looked it up.

[pheew]

After several articles later, it is incredibly normal! Even a good sign of a healthy baby!! A strong breather (?!?!) Thank heaven. Then, as I read one particular entry, I got misty-eyed. I got choked up as my Little Bean is too cute and healthy trying to breathe. She is terribly feisty. Something about that last bit of info set in the fact that there really is a little girl in my belly, playing, sleeping, and hiccuping. Oh, I think the statement was that the mother couldn't wait to see her daughter hiccup in person. That's when that surreal feeling happened and I got emotional. My belly is the most awesome thing my body could do, it's protecting a little person trying to survive. Hormonal I guess.

Very amazing feeling...I'm just sorry dads don't get to experience this miracle. I tell Ryan I would do anything for him to feel what I feel everyday for just 1 day. He gets excited with just feeling her movements from the outside, oh but if he only knew...

ANOTHER SUNNY DAY...

WEEK 30.5

Today was rather sunny considering how chilly it has been here in LA.

In that sunny feeling, we actually went out-and-about. We had been at the house for days due to the lack of motivation 'cos of the crispy weather. We just lagged and would rather sit on the sofa with our electric blankets on. Today was rather full, well at least for me.

We did some window shopping but of course, I saw some cute clothes for Bean and had to buy them PLUS, they were made in the USA, so of course I had to take advantage. Her black onesie is short sleeved though.

Then we walked some more and stop by to visit our good ol' pal Angel at the best travel shop ever, Distant Lands. He had gone to Asia (Japan, Indonessia, Thisland) this past October/November!

[Jel-lus]

His travels tends to inspire out next trip. More so 'cos we were planning a visit to Japan for this Winter but...well...you know. We had not visited him in a while (no money 'cos it's hard to go and not buy something there) and we had done our trip for the year (Mexico, DF in June). He didn't know about our 3 traveler! He was happy for us and of course encouraged traveling with Little Bean. That was a nice visit.

Of course it was lunch time by now and we got our grub on. In this small, short period of time, I was contacted by 4 different friends! Ryan was like, "you are so popular!" Heaven knows I'm not but I guess I must of looked cool. The one time I try to leave the house, I'm cool again. Stay at home, no ones cares :(

[sigh]

Oh I kid, but it was nice. One text called me "little mamma" which always tickles me. We came home and to a lovely surprise, a visit from a friend and her little girls. Ryan had to meet a friend somewhere and he soon came back with his friend and we just looked like a busy house for once. It felt, rather nice on such a sunny day...

ABOUT A GIRL...

WEEK 30.3

Okay, another reason I love this little girl.

Yesterday, or even the day before, she was kicking and moving rather roughly to the point that it was a bit painful. Ryan was next to me and she seems to listen to him when he talks to her and tells her to take it easy 'cause she seriously stops moving! More of a reason to know that Bean has taken over Ryan, they have their own relationship going.

Anyhow, I kept telling her to just take it easy and so today, the little stinker moved very little. The occasional movement here and there during my gardening 'cause , once again, she still hates when I sit down, so she was poking me while I was pulling up weeds. Other than that, very little movement.

[scary]

Tonight I really noticed while I sat and watched TV that she was not moving at all. I shook my belly and told her I was kidding about not moving and she could move all she wants! How I really didn't mean it. I didn't want to confuse her, I prefer her to move anytime of course. I did more sweet talking and that stinker started moving! Seriously! She showed me didn't she? As I type she is having a field day in my belly. Well, she started off with a little case of the hiccups, she then recovered and started her dancing...

[pheew]

I really was worried but she is a little bugger, isn't she? Little Miss Stubborn, "you tell me to stop, so I'll show you..."

That is my little story about my little Bean.

Oh yeah, today was very cold, Ryan made us lunch, and we had a lovely visit from our real estate agent (now good friend) Nancy. We were rather productive today too, working on the house and all...

WEEK 30

Holy Shmoly...week 30! (70 more days)

Seriously, these past few days I have had off have been lazy, yes, but I have had plenty of time to think about, well, the pregnancy. Bean will be here before I know it, her nursery has not been started, doing the baby registry reminds of me of how we don't have much for her, and for heaven sakes, I'm pregnant!

What was life like before my belly? Spending time watching my bare belly is priceless. I look down while I am typing away on the laptop and I see her ripples and entranced. I think I want to cast my belly, yep, I'm gonna do it. Maybe the one on the left 'cos heaven knows I ain't showing my boobies. I'm modest...thank you... Kinda looks like a heart too, or is it me?

Oh yeah, it's Christmas. I kinda forget. I'm only reminded of the Holidays when I visit Ryan's family as they keep tradition alive. What will it be like next year? How will we as a family acknowledge the Holidays? Good questions. Don't know. It's a wet Holiday too. If I blurred my eyes as I looked out side the window, it kinda looked like the beginnings of snow. The way the water was lightly falling sorta looked frosty. Oh, I just wished.

I think her bones are getting hard as the days go by too as I swear I am beginning to feel her elbows, knees, or some funny feeling something, more like noogies from Bean from within the belly! It's ticklish but a bit painful at times. She is getting feisty!

SUGAR HICCUP

WEEK 29.6

Guess who has the hiccups as I type? This feels funny! She's the HICCUPotamus...


Not to be mistaken with the HIP-HOPotamus...her lyrics are never bottomless... (Brittany, check out the link)

DOCTOR. DOCTOR...CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BURIN', BURNIN'

WEEK 29.4

As I type this, it hit me, I'm almost 30 weeks!

[gulp]I remember writing about my half way mark and now I'm at the home stretch. Yikes! I know I'll never be ready but seriously, I don't feel ready for Bean. If it wasn't for our bassinet (courtesy of Brit-Brit) I would be in a panic 'cos Bean has no place to sleep! She has a cute little wardrobe going but no nappies, diapers, nothing!

In case the anxiety of waiting for Bean hasn't taken over today (day 1 of Winter Break...yessss), I'm beginning to feel that lovely pregnancy side effect I have read about so well, heartburn! I have never, in my year on this planet, ever known this feeling and wondered, "What does it feel like?" and yes, it simply feels like your heart is burning. I felt it faintly last week, maybe even twice but I think I acknowledged it last night after dinner. Once again, it was faint and it really hasn't hurt but it is an odd feeling in your chest. I am also getting minor crapping on my right calf, again. Both my hip areas are sore now, not just that darn right-side anymore. This may just be my fault as I stubbornly try to sleep on my right-side when I get a chance. Getting stuck on the sofa in the evenings has become a norm. I think my body just wears by this time 'cos this morning I was moving quite well.

[hmmm]

But you know what? Bean's movements are more and more beautiful as times passes. She is so active! I no longer really place my hand on my belly as my belly alone has become the show. Nothing beats a bare belly while she creates waves and ripples with her dancing. One day last week, her little bum or head just poked out and stayed there, like a belly-lump. It protruded and stayed there! It was too funny. I don't think I was in class teaching 'cos that would have been distracting. But now-a-days, she places a lot of pressure on my right side (surprise, surprise). Once again, it is either her little bum or her head that press pretty hard on my right. I have to sometimes push her down to shift her body. But unfortunately she is rather stubborn. Wonder where she gets that from? Writing about a human moving in my belly sounds strange but it has become a daily norm too!

VACATION IS ALL I EVER WANTED...

Week 29

Okay, this week ends with a somber song in my heart. Not in a bad way but in a "I'm still a silly, crazy fan" way. Without going into details, Ryan worked with one of my all time favorites bands this week and I was unable to visit him at work, at no fault to my guy. That is the short story and that is all I will say. But as the days pass, I'm feeling better but this visit became more of a mission for Sofia. I wanted a belly picture for my "Caterpillar Girl" from the band that penned the song...

[sigh]Tomorrow is our last day until Winter Break (2 weeks) and heaven knows I'm counting down. I want to sleep in, not think about work, spend time with Ryan (I can't get enough of this guy), and possibly get Bean's room ready. I have these ideas now, this need to want to get it done but you know my laziness will prevail as this cold weather makes me just want to stay under the blankets on the sofa and watch the idiot box!!

Oh, I have started my registry but all thanx to my girl, M. I don't know why I have not motivated to do this. It's gotta be the stress of work and trying to learn to redirect that energy towards what matters most right now. I think as the week winds down and feel like vacation-mode, I'll get this done. It honestly feels strange to do it. I understand the purpose but, I don't know...feels like "buy us this and buy us that" but I know it is all for Bean. I mean, it is just a strange feeling to make a list of "wants"....oh never mind...'cos the Baby Shower itself is going to feel strange. I am thankful Michelle is taking charge to make sure it is more of a small "gathering" of friends. It's the attention part that is uneasy but I'm sure M will make sure I get over. I know she'll make sure it is not a typical, traditional shower with games and people I have never seen before. I will not torture my friends, I hope. M even suggested a baby shower after Bean's born and do a shower with a "meet and greet" as good, ol' Martha Stewart has suggested. Great idea but I may upset others who really want a shower now!
Grief, you know, we have been slackers. I don't know why. People have asked for belly pictures, pictures of Ryan and I showing off the belly, asking for what we want for Sofia but yet we don't do it. I just don't know, seriously. Sorry to all we have let down and we mean the best...we'll try to make up for it this break as I relax and focus on Bean...

Oh, I think you can add the registry here on the blog. I'll keep updating it as M sends me her ideas. Thank heaven we're on the same page but unfortunately, different states...

Check out the left, side column, that's the best I can do for now...

I PULLED INTO [EAST LA], WAS FEELING 'BOUT HALF PAST [FAT]

WEEK 28.5

The big weigh in was today. After a long visit with my bosses after school (hoping to curb some of my stress) I booked it to the doctors. I had to simply go to the nurses clinic and check my weight and possibly take a blood test to check my iron levels since they dipped 2 weeks ago. I showed up, stepped up and....yes!...I only gained 2 lbs!

[woo-hoo]

I feel that was a fair weight to gain after 2 weeks. No blood test.

[pheew]

Now I have to email my doctor and hopefully we will back on track...

Y-O-U-R-E-G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S...

WEEK 28.3

On those full days of work and running around, I heard "You look gorgeous" and just so thrown off I was like, "WTF?" then I got shy and turned red.

My friends husbands seems to love us roly-poly preggo ladies cos he is too nice to me. He gives me random back rubs, makes fun of my belly (in a jokingly way), and makes sweet comments on how I am glowing :) Feels nice to hear outside of your own hubby mouth. I think he is ready for baby # 2. They have a gorgeous little toddler. Oh, and let me share why I want Sofia to come already. I spend some time with her after school in her classroom on Friday. Her room door was closed and we heard a knock. It was bossy lady from the main office holding the hand of little Matthew. His face just instantly lit up and he hobbled over to mommy lovingly yelling "Mommy, mommy!" That just melted my heart and welted up my eyes :) I can't wait for that type of greeting. Well, when Ryan greets me, in his silly way, it will be a tough one to beat....

Add this to the list of pregnancy side effects, my arms are falling asleep more often than not! I mean, I can't lay down without my arm(s) falling asleep at some point(?!?!) Not to mention how I feel like Peggy Bundy! This part I hate but fight against it. I always sleep on my left side, Ryan sleeps on his right side so in other words, we now sleep with our backs to each other :( We're Al and Peg but we sleep like this 'cos I'm stuck not 'cos we're awesome like them ;)

[sadness]

I try to sleep on my right side until something falls asleep or my back starts to ache and I have to miserably give in to rolling over to my left side

Oh...the growing belly now needs a bumper as I am knocking things over and bumping into things. Oh heavens...this is getting use to.

CONSTANT CRAVING

WEEK 28

Well, the belly keeps growing, my right calf cramps have disappeared it seems, but the tiredness, the slow pace, the increased need to sleep has taken over. Oh, and that darn right, back pain prevails! I was chillin' last night on the sofa I almost got stuck on it PLUS I was ALONE! I eventually rolled to my side and relieved that pain.

[phew]

I'm not puffy (yet) 'cos my rings still fit. I am definitely more "roly poly" as one of my co-workers so lovingly said :) There has been an increase in appetite in the past week for sure. This mornig, I truly craved sweets. I was in my class dreaming of a donut. Low and behold, I headed to the main office to make photo copies and there it was...that pink, unmarked little box with the sweets I was craving!! I immediately closed my eyes and wished for a million dollars. No cigar.
I had half of the donut to only begin to crave those darn Cheetos again! Man, I just wanted a bag to myself. Please, don't judge me (means you Michelle). I didn't give in. I have to teach Little Bean self-control. Sure I failed this morning but, it was kinda out of my control. It was free! Cheetos would take up a lot more effort, right?

I think it's bed time as it is now 7:30 pm and I have a rather challenging day tomorrow :( But I know if I hold a bag of Cheetos on a stick in front of me, I'll get through it and yes, I will treat myself to a bag if I get through it.

[sigh]

Don't they make baked ones?

HOLD ME CLOSER, TINY DANCER...(not Tony Danza)

WEEK 27.6

Today is one of those day I LOVE my job. When the morning crisp air touches my face as I rush around in the morning before class begins, I smile and softly sigh as I feel the reward of teaching. I get these magical moments every so often. I know Little Bean feels it too as her movements feel like they are changing.

Today, they felt different but still lovely. She has become a little dancer of sorts. That's what I picture. She's this little ballerina then she becomes this break dancer in my belly. One minute she is doing the plie, as my belly shows a poke...then disappears...then a poke again, then disappears. Nope it is not the hiccups but the plie. Then she shows off her twinkle toes as they tickle my lower belly with her assemble moves. She's just too cute as she dances as I teach through out the day. Then she begins to pop and lock and does the worm too! This kids hilarious.

I breathe in and breathe out. We're taking it easy...

[sigh]

Hey, the kid has timing, she is dancing right now!!! No lies!

CAN'T...GET OUT OF BED...

WEEK 27.3

Okay, I think the stress from yesterday got me today. I am either sick (I don't believe so), I'm depressed (my Little Bean will not allow this), or yesterday's incident has my body shutting down. I vote for that last one. I got up this morning, ready for a day with Ryan and father-in-law at the beach but instead, I made my way to bed after a small breakfast and proceeded to stay there ALL day! I slept 2 hours, I woke up, ate a bit, slept some more, woke up to roll over to go back to sleep. If it wasn't for Ryan asking if I was interested in going to the movies, I would have not found the motivation to get out of bed. It was a good night out 'cos we got to see Frost/Nixon. Yay, something stimulating for the brain 'cos my headache went away that evening!!...sort of...

(click and check it out)->

Did I mention I hated the stressor? I swear to high heaven, if anything happens to Bean and/or me, I will make sure this person pays! I hope I just needed this rest and that this was my body's way of slowing me down. We needed it, yes, but Friday played in my head to the point of nursing a headache ALL day long. An almost painful headache, reminiscent of past headaches. AND, I am beginning to grind my teeth...again!!

[Noooooooo, not again]

This sends me back to the stress filled days of last year when I didn't care to control my stress because it was par for the course, right? Since Bean has come along, I try desperately to monitor this 'cos it has nothing to do with me anymore, it's all about her.

Ooooooo, I tell you, someone's gonna pay...

WHY DO BAD DAYS LAST FOREVER?

WEEK 27.2

Today was terrible. It was awful. It just sucked.

This was a prime example of when I hate my job. Whatever the issue was, put aside, it was the idea of stress, high-end stress. Removing the agitator, the stressor, it was the simply fact that my body went into stress-mode. When it was removed and I cried in frustration. All I could think and say in my head was, "I'm sorry Bean, I'm so sorry mommy's crying...I'm sorry" It was the worst feeling, I didn't protect her. I try so hard to breathe during stressful situations so it won't effect her. I breathe and breathe to regulate my heart rate but it didn't work this time. This is why I have to apologize to Bean. The worst part, I felt, was breaking down in the copy room at school.

Trying not to rehash the finer points of this cr*ppy incident, today brought much love for Bean and me after my moring incident. My co-workers showed such empathy, love, caring, whatever you want to call it. Kind words filled our day. Hugs filled our hearts. A lovely flower arragement filled our classroom.

[sigh]

I know I will obsess about this incident as it will play in my head like an annoying commercial. I will try not to 'cos that morning was enough stress for us to handle! I hate the stressor. Yes, hate 'cos of what we were put through.

The night before ended well but I suppose had me already emotional and sentimental, which didn't help me today. A visit from father-in-law ended last night with the sweetest gift of all, a little help to get Little Beans nursery going and hopefully finished! It was emotional in case I didn't mention it. I wish I just had cried about this rather than my cruddy incident this morning. Those tears would have meant more.

YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME, FATTY...

WEEK 26.5

*Both are profiles of her cute little face. Her head is on the left with her right arm over her belly. The first picture shows a more visible profile and that cute button nose and lovely lips. Kinda looks like she is smiling :)
____________________________________________________________________

Today was devastating. I think I am still reeling from this trauma. Even after whining, crying, and pondering my thoughts about this with Michelle, I'm still just mortified!!

Today, as you can see (go back and look at that face), we saw out Little Bean at our monthly check up. This was amazing, of course. I love seeing her, more so after holding a cute little 5-month old baby girl at work. Oh, I just longed to hold Sofia, my little girl!!

[sweetness]

Anyhow, Ryan was once again able to attend our doctor's appointment. This has amazing; he has made every single one!! We banked on 2 over the 9-month course due to his unpredictable work schedule (though he had to be at work in a few hours).

Routine: check-in, pee in a cup, sit and wait, get called in by Yvonne, blood pressure, temperature...check. Then, there is the time of weighing in. I have just gotten over the fact that I weigh more than Ryan, okay, I get this but ... but ... BUT...I have gained 7 pounds since my last visit..........4 weeks ago!!!

WTF??

I felt sick and distraught. I went into immediate denial. I asked Ryan, "how much did I weigh last visit?" In my head, maybe I didn't remember correctly? I honestly just thought, no biggie, lets move on to exam room 3 (boooo, cruddy room again) and waited.

Long story short, my doctor became concerned after reviewing last visits information and the abnormal weigh gain and all the panic I had 20 minutes ago came back. Oh heavens, I have gone and gained this excessive weight! How? I eat fairly well if not, very well. My doctor asked what I was eating. I just couldn't imagine since I don't really have fast food, too much processed foods, I avoid sweets to the best of my ability, and trust me this has been hard. I think about what I'm feeding Sofia all the time and I monitor closely. Ask my co-workers, they make fun of my discipline, strict eating habits.

Oh! This can begin to explain the back pain! The extra weight has taken it's toll. Ryan said he may have not kept a close enough eye on me. I don't think that is fair to say 'cos he doesn't really let me do much anyway and I do have a tendency of not listening anyway. I'm stubborn that way, okay?

[hmmph]

But...oh grief...

Now I have to go weigh back in 2 weeks, email my doctor with my current weight. Oh, and I am now anemic! See, this is what I get. I have been happy to report that all has been well and no real issues to speak of. She has been great! No complains. I jinxed it!

[ARRRGGHHHHH]

YOU HAVE A STRANGE EFFECT ON ME...AND I LIKE IT

WEEK 26.4

I've been getting these strange, outer body feelings. Just this weekend, I was sitting on the sofa, cross-legged and giggled 'cause this is now a bit of an effort 'cause I forget but then I realized, "Oh, I'm pregnant aren't I?" Then my mind goes to all these strange places. Holy smokes, I really am pregnant! My aches and pains and all the little nuances have just become a part of my daily life. What was life like before this cute little belly? I genuinely don't recall much. I've been housing my Little Bean so long it seems that pre-belly was this distant land and I recall very little. My discomforts with my clothes is just typical woman, just like when you gain a bit of weight and you get use to it if you chose not to do anything about it..."oh well" mentality. The fact that I know I will Pooh Bear shirts (yes I use this as a verb) is just acceptable. You know, when you put on a shirt and you look like this -> The shirt loses the battle.

Anyhow, this belly has taken over my life that I can't imagine life without talking to my belly, rubbing my belly. Wow, I really am expecting a little one. This sometimes is hard to fathom. I do recall when I just had found out that a belly would be in my future. I shook in the cold bathroom trying to wrap my head around this concept and now, what was life before this gorgeous gift? Did life even matter when a little one is busy playing in my belly? This strange physical aspect has me dumbfounded sometimes. There is a little person playing in my belly and I look forward to it. I am no longer me, I am "we." We're hungry, we're going to sleep, we're tired...

Someone shared with me, not so long ago, that she felt really hallow after her baby was born. She felt alone and it made her sad. You housed this baby for so long that you miss it dearly. I mean, I have been aware of Little Bean since I was 4 weeks along. Some people I have talked to didn't know until they were 2, 3, 4 months along!! Their pregnancies just seem far more shorter, not trying to take away their time but before they knew it, there was their child. I sometimes feel I will be pregnant forever. As joyous as it seems, I do want to meet her already. I dream about her. But what will life be after this belly, this body?

Does this even make any sense? Well, try being in my head when my mind goes everywhere...

BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU GOT...

WEEK 26

Let me state that I am thankful for a 4-day weekend above all as I need all the rest I can get.

Today was pretty mellow with my guy. We ate our pre-made meal from Cinnamon, a great little local veggie restaurant. I picked it up early today and we had an early dinner, more like a lunch. We then watched Whale Rider (Little Bean is gonna be our Paikea, a strong and determined little girl) and the Ziegeist (please click on the link, download it, watch it, and spread the word!!).

Today and everyday I am just too Thankful for so much (particularly this year). Yeah, I know I have a 4-day week, like I mentioned but nothing beats my Ryan. I am thankful for him as he is the best thing about life. And because of him, we are expecting the greatest little girl we could ever imagine. Also the fact that I have safely made it to week 26! She has been kicking away today too. I think she is thankful for her mom and dad spending so much quality time. this holiday weekend. Her movements alone are the greatest feeling. This little person living inside of me, playing, happy to hear her parents talking and laughing on a lazy day like today is a miracle. Oh, and we own a house for heaven's sake! That 's huge! We have jobs that we like, even love at times. We have such a loving relationship filled with laughter and no drama!!! Life it good, even with it's little glitches, we have each other.

I know people, allow me to be cheesy please, as I am feeling rather hormonal.

BRING THE PAIN

WEEK 25.5

Bring the pain? It's already been broughten!!!

My body is officially a house of pain. Both my bum cheeks are sore, my back is really achy, and muscles that I have not thought of are tender as h*ll!!!!!!!!! Am am working-out in my sleep, sleep exercising? Oh Sofia, I know you're worth it but I hate walking like a nut-job! I am a turtle. I am a slow poke yet I push myself, I keep going at my quick little paces and I am winded like an old little woman after a few yards :(

[sigh]

Don't me started on the almost uncontrollable waddle! I allow it to happen when I just can't take the aches. I just let go...and there it is, the prego-waddle...

[grief]

Now, if I could only make it look cool like the Disco Duck, then I wouldn't mind.

MY ACHY, BREAKY...body!!!!

WEEK 24

The next phase of this lovely venture is now those darn body aches.

OUCH!

I mean, my right side feels like it has been beaten up and batter. Well, it started off with my right bum cheek just feeling sooooo sore; as though I have been working out, but heaven knows I haven’t. It just hurts and feels so tender. I even sit a bit differently in hopes of alleviating some of that soreness.

Ooooouuuuccch (E.T. style).

Then, I have this calf cramping happening almost every other night. This is too much. Right in the middle of the night, as I stretch out like a cat when I roll over…BANG! My calf is tight and I want to scream in agony. And of course, it is ONLY my right calf (?!?!)

Next, there is this achy-ness in my knee. WTF? My solution, use a pillow. I put a regular size head pillow between my legs in order to give my legs some type of balance and alignment to my new method of sleeping on my left side (I miss sleeping on my belly). I mean, I keep seeing these ads with these pregnant ladies with a million specialty types of pillows on their beds and didn’t really understand why. Hell yeah I understand why now! It took 6 months for this to hit me, and man it hit me good. I even surveyed some mamas to ask about their experiences with aches and pains. Like I have been told a million times, everyone's different....I know, I know but if anyone could give me some suggestions to reduce these aches, I'll take it! Help

THEY CALL ME MELLOW YELLOW...

WEEK 23.6

I was putty today. My kind, kind friend, Tanya, treated yours truly to a pregnancy massage, a day at a spa. Fancy, I know. I had not seen her since the big announcement over some Souplantation when I was, good grief, 8 WEEKS! So I am sure I looked a bit different. Noooo, I saw her 2 weeks after that at our friends (Sue and Shanta...awww...) wedding. In any case, I have a little belly to show to her this time.

I drove far but I kept thinking of the reward. It was nice but always feel cheated out of crazy, deep tissue massage where they get crouching tiger on your a**! And you really feel like putty all day long but I can't get one in my current state.

Hey, this was my second pregnancy massage too. I have great friends don't I?! The first one was back during the Radiohead shows BUT that one was about 3 hours long! And by the way, the masseuse that hooked me up announced a few weeks later that she was expecting too! (cute) She was, then, about 10 weeks along. I think she might have known 'cos all we really talked about was being pregnant. I'm glad she is doing well.

After a half day at the spa, we hit up PF Chang's. I just love those garlic noodles and the veggie wraps!! Thanx Michelle for introducing me to the wraps 'cos they is heavenly mmmm-mm.

That was all for a girls day out of relaxation...

Oh yeah, there was the "pregnancy" pillow that kinda freaked me out. This is what happened, I was asked if I would prefer to lay on my side for the massage. I was a bit confused 'cos that's how the first massage went. Hmmm (???) So then the second option came, the "pregnancy pillow." I said, "Uh sure, I'll try it." This people was scary 'cos it was suppose to allow me to LAY DOWN ON MY BELLY...unthinkable!!! It was an oval-half-shaped pillow that looked like a donut. I looked at it with fear to be honest. The masseuse left me alone and there, I tried to tackle it. Mind you, all the light in this room was 2 rather dim candles, so I am sure this pillow looked even scarier with the flickering of shadows.

[gulp]

Oh my heavens, am I going to crush my Little Bean? Well, I lied on top and yes, my belly was suspended but I could not completely let go as I freaked out about crushing my little girl!!!! Nope, couldn't do it as I laughed at the silliness of this situation. She came back and knew I was not having it as I giggled and told her, "Well, I tried..."

[wha-whaaaa]

REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD!

WEEK 23.5

Awww...today was the greatest day! I went to visit my former school and I just couldn't stop smiling all day. My face hurt from saying hello to every I saw with all my love for them. I miss my kids. I mean, I really miss those buggers. I brought them cupcakes, a Mrs. Kennedy traditional treat, and it was like I was never gone. I hope Little Bean felt the love they had for her. All the kids (and everyone else of course) were utterly shocked as I showed up with a visitors pass stuck to my belly 'cause I wasn't the visitor, Sofia was! My wonderful former co-worker's faces was priceless. I had the worlds best kept secret according to them. I think today was the first day I was so open about my Little Bean. Yeah, today was our official coming out day! I showed off my belly loud and proud.

The kids were too cute and welcoming. They asked a million questions and already called her by her name! I mean, it was too cute for words. I love those kids and I felt the love back from them. I will forever have fond memories of today.

I later met up with Todd and Michelle to have a nice little birthday lunch at one of my favorites, M Cafe. This place is the bomb-diggity by they way. Go check out this joint!

I went to visit Ryan at work and that was a nice visit too. It was a day of love to be honest. I still couldn't leave Hollywood as I returned to the school to say hello to some other special ladies I missed on my morning visit. I didn't anticipate spending the whole day there but I am glad I did.

Our school had the long 4-day weekend but thankfully LAUSD made their people go to work on Monday which it possible for me to see these amazing people. Thanx LAUSD for being slave-drivers!

I'VE BEEN LOOKING SO LONG AT THESE PICTURES OF YOU...

WEEK 23

This may be a bit late but this was Little Bean's Halloween costume. She was a little cute skeleton....rrrahhhhh. She is on her side, her head on the left (rrrraahhh) and her cute belly on the right (check out dem ribs)

Trick-or-Treat :)

Now, she is still on her side but you may see her left-hook coming your way...WATCH OUT! She is too funny, that little one.

We have a total of 5 pictures but these were the best ones. The machine in exam room 3 sucks!! I'm gonna request a different room with a better machine (room 4 where all the magic began). I want great photos of her! I know, I'm being pushy. Actually our doctor gives us far more pix than we should get. He even has us hide them when we leave. He loves us! He does, he does 'cause after his examination, I said, "That's it?" And he jelled up my belly and gave us a few extra minutes :) I know, know people, I am pushy but I was dying to see her move...he luvs us!!

LET, LET ME IN...

WEEK 22.6

Absent-mindedness at its finest.

I locked myself out of my house!!! Yup, I did. I was homeless for about 3 hours after I got home fairly early to work on school stuff and relax and this stupidity happens. I just had had a victory by scoring the last 2 copies of the LA Times in my 'hood (I think in LA to be honest) and my mind, somewhere else, 'caused this dumb turn of events. I obviously was not thinking or focusing.

Okay, so this absent-mindedness is to prepare me for motherhood, right? I am to focus on my child while nothing else is that important. Does this mean I'm gonna lock myself out with my Little Bean inside? Cr*p, I'm in big trouble people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna suck at this if I don't get it together...

[GULP]

SHE’S LOST CONTROL AGAIN…

WEEK 22

Okay, this clumsiness and absent-mindedness has reached its high. I am a bigger mess than what I started as. I drop things, I forget things, I misplace things all the time, I forget things...it is just miserable...unbearable.

It is not cute that this is happening because I'm "pregnant" as people try to assure me. It is really frustrating.

The old-wives tale that explain this particular phenomenon is that this is preparing me for solely focusing on the baby and that nothing else matters. I guess these explanations ease the lack of control but it is putting me out. Going to the bathroom a million times a night is preparing for sleepless nights, etc. I just have NO control anymore. This is why I am taking such stand on my diet 'cause this is all I can control. Some people find it nutty that I chose not to eat chocolate or have the occasional cup of coffee. This is all I have man!

[sigh]

This state of mind is NOT helping me at work! I need to be focused with the demand of my student population, more so the legal aspects that driven by some of their parents.

I hope for things to get a bit more settled 'cause trying to hope for it to get better is useless. Oh heavens, I sound like a Debbie Downer now...sorry :( but just call me Mr. Clumsy.