WHY DO BAD DAYS LAST FOREVER?

WEEK 27.2

Today was terrible. It was awful. It just sucked.

This was a prime example of when I hate my job. Whatever the issue was, put aside, it was the idea of stress, high-end stress. Removing the agitator, the stressor, it was the simply fact that my body went into stress-mode. When it was removed and I cried in frustration. All I could think and say in my head was, "I'm sorry Bean, I'm so sorry mommy's crying...I'm sorry" It was the worst feeling, I didn't protect her. I try so hard to breathe during stressful situations so it won't effect her. I breathe and breathe to regulate my heart rate but it didn't work this time. This is why I have to apologize to Bean. The worst part, I felt, was breaking down in the copy room at school.

Trying not to rehash the finer points of this cr*ppy incident, today brought much love for Bean and me after my moring incident. My co-workers showed such empathy, love, caring, whatever you want to call it. Kind words filled our day. Hugs filled our hearts. A lovely flower arragement filled our classroom.

[sigh]

I know I will obsess about this incident as it will play in my head like an annoying commercial. I will try not to 'cos that morning was enough stress for us to handle! I hate the stressor. Yes, hate 'cos of what we were put through.

The night before ended well but I suppose had me already emotional and sentimental, which didn't help me today. A visit from father-in-law ended last night with the sweetest gift of all, a little help to get Little Beans nursery going and hopefully finished! It was emotional in case I didn't mention it. I wish I just had cried about this rather than my cruddy incident this morning. Those tears would have meant more.