This particular week felt like a roller coaster, both emotionally and physically. I think the emotional was followed the crazy physical changes my body has taken. Thankfully, I have been reading quite funny pregnancy books, which oddly enough, their chapters seem to be aligned with my personal progress. For example, about a week ago, I s
o happen to be looking in the mirror at my belly when I realized I was growing in a winter coat in the middle of summer!! I was devastated. That evening on the treadmill, whist reading The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy (great read), she mentioned this exact experience about our bellies. I laughed/cried as I sped walked my little heart out. It was confirmed, my body was no longer mine and it will not be for another year. It is such any easy concept, of course, but as a women in the majority (I hope), dealing with body image issue for the past 32 years of my life, it is a hard pill to swallow. My body and I have not necessary had a fantastic relationship. But please let me explain, I didn’t quite begin this wonderful venture with the ideal body. I should have taken a cue from Angelina Jolie and lost loads of pounds before gaining those lovely pregnancy lbs. I was already a good 10 pounds over my “average,” but I digress. This particular week, my gut turned into a little belly. My breasts have a mind of their own. My arms are now stuffed sausages. My hips and my bu
m are still fairly in tact. I believe it is Mother Natures way of keep a sense of humor whilst torturing me. My pants fit but good luck getting them buttoned. I finally bought the popular Belly Band or Tummy Tube, whatever your preference. This is the single best invention ever! I can keep my pants for a few more months with this awesome thing. And you know this will come in handy post-baby and beyond. (For those Friends fans, a la Joey Thanksgiving style). I made this purchase at that same shop I dared to buy a bra! Da-da-da-da-dahhh
Just in case this hasn’t been a sore spot with me and millions of other “curvy” girls, this was far worse than I had EVER imagined. I am glad I went alone. I did not need an audience for this pathetic trip to the dressing room, which would end in tears. For those ladies that can relate, just picture buying a bra for a pair of breasts you never thought you would own, or have been appalled when you accidentally came across a size on the rack you could never imagine true. Did those numbers and letter combinations really exist? Sisters, yes they do. But once again, these were no longer my breasts used to get me out of trouble with the opposite, occasionally the same sex in the past, they were now milk producing machinery. I had to treat them as so. My second attempt to purchase a “bra” went a bit better. I just kept thinking, “These are not mine, it’s all for Little Bean,” which brings me to another point. There is some evidence, instinct, that this little bunch of love in my belly is a boy.
On Sunday, I had to attend a same-sex reception/wedding. I needed to go shopping for a last minute dress since my “wedding” dress had shrunk…okay, I grew. For some reason, this possibility had not crossed my mind and figured the same dress I wore to a wedding a month prior would some how magically fit when then I had complained it was snug. I am slow, I admit. I simply didn’t want to go shopping?!?! I mean, I love to shop, I’m a red-blooded female for heaven sakes. Sure, I have no money, but I love to shop. I genuinely did not want to go shopping. I was talking to a friend and I told her, I think my tummy is housing a boy. First, I once loved room-temperature water, now I can’t deal with it, I love cold, painful water touching my teeth! Secondly, I once loved mornings, I was an early bird, now I simply drag and feel wide-awake at 11pm!! Thirdly, these breasts, these mountains! Enough said. Finally, not loving or looking forward to go shopping??? What? My thought is, this is a little boy who loves a cold drink, is a night owl, loves boobies, and hates shopping. C’mon, this has to be the right explanation for such a lifestyle switch. We won’t technically now for a while but this is my neurotic explanation to make me feel better about all these changes. Sue me! Me friend got a great laugh out of this and suggested from me to make note of this suspicion.
Back to my bump. I have attempted to shop for some of those trendy tunic, tent, billowy tops. Going in to a maternity specialty shop was comforting but I just could not stand the obvious preggo tops! They just made me feel, old? I do not know what it was, but I just was not having it. Just so you do not think I am just being a brat and pouty, I tried some on of this tops on. Yep, just as I thought, not for me or at least not yet. I am sure I will wanting them when a XL tunic no longer gives way for my bump. I was pretty proud of that belly band, I showed Ryan my new wardrobe lifesaver. He knew I had been having body issues so he was pretty happy to see I has doing better in this department. I lifted my shirt to show him my cool tummy tube and I heard one of my favorite sounds, a child-like giggle. Without thinking, I put my shirt back down and he wanted an encore! He was so excited. “Let me see again!” he smiled. Now those are the moments that make my little hormonal slumps worth the challenge. Awww…I love that guy!
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