WEEK 11:
What a crazy week. Just in case being pregnant isn’t overwhelming enough, feeling displaced, even homeless has been upsetting. This week our apartment was fumigated for a current termite problem. We were put up in the slea
ziest hotel ever (the Welcome Inn in Eagle Rock, stay away!) whilst I was already simply hormonal making a pathetic, sad situation even more dramatic, as I experienced this alone. My better, rational half was working those days, so coping alone was rough. Like always, learning something out of poor situation is all we have. I definitely was reminded how as simple as our lives are, its ours and its wonderful. Grief, does that even make sense?
Back to the trauma that was fumigation. Coming home was the pits ‘cos my paranoia and neurotic nature made me feel like I was inhaling toxins, even though we were given the “okay” to vacate the premises. I couldn't do that to Little Bean, I have to be oober careful now-a-days. This was the lowest of the low. I felt alone ‘cos I didn’t know where to go and I just didn’t want to go back into another hotel as Ryan suggested. Sure I was being difficult but I wanted to be home, in the comforts of a home. Long story short, I f
ell in love with my friend Michelle all over again. She took us in BUT she took take care of us. It wasn't about me about Little Bean and trying not to stress out. She was mindful of making sure we were fine and eating. We got to lie down on a clean bed, she hooked me up with an US Weekly, and season one of the BBC show “Shameless.” If you are a fan of James Mcavoy, this show makes you fall in love with this guy (just in case “Last King of Scotland” didn’t do it)! Unfortunately, Ryan got off of work really late and headed to the apartment. I chose to stay out as long as possible. Michelle and I went to breakfast and anything that would kill time. When I finally got home, Ryan was about to wake up and we were soooo happy to see him! Fumigation sucks. Cleaning up sucks.
Anyhow, I had to transition from a messy apartment torn apart from a fumigation drill to getting ready for work/school. Thankfully I got some work in with a little help from my friends.
Okay, okay…no sense in dwelling in such a bad experience (but I feel better, thanx) and onto, well, baby watch. The belly is out! This week I have become far more in tune with my little bump and the fact that, “yeah, I really am pregnant!” I know this sounds dumb to say, but it is a surreal feeling. I mean, during the first few week I had plenty of daydreams where I was imagining that being pregnant was just part of dream! There were countless times I would wake-up suddenly, look for Ryan and would verify with his glowing smile that it wasn’t a dream. I wouldn’t ask him nor tell him about my daydreams but I just could tell by the way he now looks at me. Those dreams were just so strange ‘cos generally, we all wake-up and it’s not true, it was a fantasy. Not this time, at least not for me. So to really come to grips with being a future mommy is so odd. Talking to myself is okay ‘cos I am not alone. Well, it’s just my excuse.
What a crazy week. Just in case being pregnant isn’t overwhelming enough, feeling displaced, even homeless has been upsetting. This week our apartment was fumigated for a current termite problem. We were put up in the slea
ziest hotel ever (the Welcome Inn in Eagle Rock, stay away!) whilst I was already simply hormonal making a pathetic, sad situation even more dramatic, as I experienced this alone. My better, rational half was working those days, so coping alone was rough. Like always, learning something out of poor situation is all we have. I definitely was reminded how as simple as our lives are, its ours and its wonderful. Grief, does that even make sense? Back to the trauma that was fumigation. Coming home was the pits ‘cos my paranoia and neurotic nature made me feel like I was inhaling toxins, even though we were given the “okay” to vacate the premises. I couldn't do that to Little Bean, I have to be oober careful now-a-days. This was the lowest of the low. I felt alone ‘cos I didn’t know where to go and I just didn’t want to go back into another hotel as Ryan suggested. Sure I was being difficult but I wanted to be home, in the comforts of a home. Long story short, I f
ell in love with my friend Michelle all over again. She took us in BUT she took take care of us. It wasn't about me about Little Bean and trying not to stress out. She was mindful of making sure we were fine and eating. We got to lie down on a clean bed, she hooked me up with an US Weekly, and season one of the BBC show “Shameless.” If you are a fan of James Mcavoy, this show makes you fall in love with this guy (just in case “Last King of Scotland” didn’t do it)! Unfortunately, Ryan got off of work really late and headed to the apartment. I chose to stay out as long as possible. Michelle and I went to breakfast and anything that would kill time. When I finally got home, Ryan was about to wake up and we were soooo happy to see him! Fumigation sucks. Cleaning up sucks. Anyhow, I had to transition from a messy apartment torn apart from a fumigation drill to getting ready for work/school. Thankfully I got some work in with a little help from my friends.
Okay, okay…no sense in dwelling in such a bad experience (but I feel better, thanx) and onto, well, baby watch. The belly is out! This week I have become far more in tune with my little bump and the fact that, “yeah, I really am pregnant!” I know this sounds dumb to say, but it is a surreal feeling. I mean, during the first few week I had plenty of daydreams where I was imagining that being pregnant was just part of dream! There were countless times I would wake-up suddenly, look for Ryan and would verify with his glowing smile that it wasn’t a dream. I wouldn’t ask him nor tell him about my daydreams but I just could tell by the way he now looks at me. Those dreams were just so strange ‘cos generally, we all wake-up and it’s not true, it was a fantasy. Not this time, at least not for me. So to really come to grips with being a future mommy is so odd. Talking to myself is okay ‘cos I am not alone. Well, it’s just my excuse.
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