YOU HAVE A STRANGE EFFECT ON ME...AND I LIKE IT

WEEK 26.4

I've been getting these strange, outer body feelings. Just this weekend, I was sitting on the sofa, cross-legged and giggled 'cause this is now a bit of an effort 'cause I forget but then I realized, "Oh, I'm pregnant aren't I?" Then my mind goes to all these strange places. Holy smokes, I really am pregnant! My aches and pains and all the little nuances have just become a part of my daily life. What was life like before this cute little belly? I genuinely don't recall much. I've been housing my Little Bean so long it seems that pre-belly was this distant land and I recall very little. My discomforts with my clothes is just typical woman, just like when you gain a bit of weight and you get use to it if you chose not to do anything about it..."oh well" mentality. The fact that I know I will Pooh Bear shirts (yes I use this as a verb) is just acceptable. You know, when you put on a shirt and you look like this -> The shirt loses the battle.

Anyhow, this belly has taken over my life that I can't imagine life without talking to my belly, rubbing my belly. Wow, I really am expecting a little one. This sometimes is hard to fathom. I do recall when I just had found out that a belly would be in my future. I shook in the cold bathroom trying to wrap my head around this concept and now, what was life before this gorgeous gift? Did life even matter when a little one is busy playing in my belly? This strange physical aspect has me dumbfounded sometimes. There is a little person playing in my belly and I look forward to it. I am no longer me, I am "we." We're hungry, we're going to sleep, we're tired...

Someone shared with me, not so long ago, that she felt really hallow after her baby was born. She felt alone and it made her sad. You housed this baby for so long that you miss it dearly. I mean, I have been aware of Little Bean since I was 4 weeks along. Some people I have talked to didn't know until they were 2, 3, 4 months along!! Their pregnancies just seem far more shorter, not trying to take away their time but before they knew it, there was their child. I sometimes feel I will be pregnant forever. As joyous as it seems, I do want to meet her already. I dream about her. But what will life be after this belly, this body?

Does this even make any sense? Well, try being in my head when my mind goes everywhere...

BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU GOT...

WEEK 26

Let me state that I am thankful for a 4-day weekend above all as I need all the rest I can get.

Today was pretty mellow with my guy. We ate our pre-made meal from Cinnamon, a great little local veggie restaurant. I picked it up early today and we had an early dinner, more like a lunch. We then watched Whale Rider (Little Bean is gonna be our Paikea, a strong and determined little girl) and the Ziegeist (please click on the link, download it, watch it, and spread the word!!).

Today and everyday I am just too Thankful for so much (particularly this year). Yeah, I know I have a 4-day week, like I mentioned but nothing beats my Ryan. I am thankful for him as he is the best thing about life. And because of him, we are expecting the greatest little girl we could ever imagine. Also the fact that I have safely made it to week 26! She has been kicking away today too. I think she is thankful for her mom and dad spending so much quality time. this holiday weekend. Her movements alone are the greatest feeling. This little person living inside of me, playing, happy to hear her parents talking and laughing on a lazy day like today is a miracle. Oh, and we own a house for heaven's sake! That 's huge! We have jobs that we like, even love at times. We have such a loving relationship filled with laughter and no drama!!! Life it good, even with it's little glitches, we have each other.

I know people, allow me to be cheesy please, as I am feeling rather hormonal.

BRING THE PAIN

WEEK 25.5

Bring the pain? It's already been broughten!!!

My body is officially a house of pain. Both my bum cheeks are sore, my back is really achy, and muscles that I have not thought of are tender as h*ll!!!!!!!!! Am am working-out in my sleep, sleep exercising? Oh Sofia, I know you're worth it but I hate walking like a nut-job! I am a turtle. I am a slow poke yet I push myself, I keep going at my quick little paces and I am winded like an old little woman after a few yards :(

[sigh]

Don't me started on the almost uncontrollable waddle! I allow it to happen when I just can't take the aches. I just let go...and there it is, the prego-waddle...

[grief]

Now, if I could only make it look cool like the Disco Duck, then I wouldn't mind.

MY ACHY, BREAKY...body!!!!

WEEK 24

The next phase of this lovely venture is now those darn body aches.

OUCH!

I mean, my right side feels like it has been beaten up and batter. Well, it started off with my right bum cheek just feeling sooooo sore; as though I have been working out, but heaven knows I haven’t. It just hurts and feels so tender. I even sit a bit differently in hopes of alleviating some of that soreness.

Ooooouuuuccch (E.T. style).

Then, I have this calf cramping happening almost every other night. This is too much. Right in the middle of the night, as I stretch out like a cat when I roll over…BANG! My calf is tight and I want to scream in agony. And of course, it is ONLY my right calf (?!?!)

Next, there is this achy-ness in my knee. WTF? My solution, use a pillow. I put a regular size head pillow between my legs in order to give my legs some type of balance and alignment to my new method of sleeping on my left side (I miss sleeping on my belly). I mean, I keep seeing these ads with these pregnant ladies with a million specialty types of pillows on their beds and didn’t really understand why. Hell yeah I understand why now! It took 6 months for this to hit me, and man it hit me good. I even surveyed some mamas to ask about their experiences with aches and pains. Like I have been told a million times, everyone's different....I know, I know but if anyone could give me some suggestions to reduce these aches, I'll take it! Help

THEY CALL ME MELLOW YELLOW...

WEEK 23.6

I was putty today. My kind, kind friend, Tanya, treated yours truly to a pregnancy massage, a day at a spa. Fancy, I know. I had not seen her since the big announcement over some Souplantation when I was, good grief, 8 WEEKS! So I am sure I looked a bit different. Noooo, I saw her 2 weeks after that at our friends (Sue and Shanta...awww...) wedding. In any case, I have a little belly to show to her this time.

I drove far but I kept thinking of the reward. It was nice but always feel cheated out of crazy, deep tissue massage where they get crouching tiger on your a**! And you really feel like putty all day long but I can't get one in my current state.

Hey, this was my second pregnancy massage too. I have great friends don't I?! The first one was back during the Radiohead shows BUT that one was about 3 hours long! And by the way, the masseuse that hooked me up announced a few weeks later that she was expecting too! (cute) She was, then, about 10 weeks along. I think she might have known 'cos all we really talked about was being pregnant. I'm glad she is doing well.

After a half day at the spa, we hit up PF Chang's. I just love those garlic noodles and the veggie wraps!! Thanx Michelle for introducing me to the wraps 'cos they is heavenly mmmm-mm.

That was all for a girls day out of relaxation...

Oh yeah, there was the "pregnancy" pillow that kinda freaked me out. This is what happened, I was asked if I would prefer to lay on my side for the massage. I was a bit confused 'cos that's how the first massage went. Hmmm (???) So then the second option came, the "pregnancy pillow." I said, "Uh sure, I'll try it." This people was scary 'cos it was suppose to allow me to LAY DOWN ON MY BELLY...unthinkable!!! It was an oval-half-shaped pillow that looked like a donut. I looked at it with fear to be honest. The masseuse left me alone and there, I tried to tackle it. Mind you, all the light in this room was 2 rather dim candles, so I am sure this pillow looked even scarier with the flickering of shadows.

[gulp]

Oh my heavens, am I going to crush my Little Bean? Well, I lied on top and yes, my belly was suspended but I could not completely let go as I freaked out about crushing my little girl!!!! Nope, couldn't do it as I laughed at the silliness of this situation. She came back and knew I was not having it as I giggled and told her, "Well, I tried..."

[wha-whaaaa]

REUNITED AND IT FEELS SO GOOD!

WEEK 23.5

Awww...today was the greatest day! I went to visit my former school and I just couldn't stop smiling all day. My face hurt from saying hello to every I saw with all my love for them. I miss my kids. I mean, I really miss those buggers. I brought them cupcakes, a Mrs. Kennedy traditional treat, and it was like I was never gone. I hope Little Bean felt the love they had for her. All the kids (and everyone else of course) were utterly shocked as I showed up with a visitors pass stuck to my belly 'cause I wasn't the visitor, Sofia was! My wonderful former co-worker's faces was priceless. I had the worlds best kept secret according to them. I think today was the first day I was so open about my Little Bean. Yeah, today was our official coming out day! I showed off my belly loud and proud.

The kids were too cute and welcoming. They asked a million questions and already called her by her name! I mean, it was too cute for words. I love those kids and I felt the love back from them. I will forever have fond memories of today.

I later met up with Todd and Michelle to have a nice little birthday lunch at one of my favorites, M Cafe. This place is the bomb-diggity by they way. Go check out this joint!

I went to visit Ryan at work and that was a nice visit too. It was a day of love to be honest. I still couldn't leave Hollywood as I returned to the school to say hello to some other special ladies I missed on my morning visit. I didn't anticipate spending the whole day there but I am glad I did.

Our school had the long 4-day weekend but thankfully LAUSD made their people go to work on Monday which it possible for me to see these amazing people. Thanx LAUSD for being slave-drivers!

I'VE BEEN LOOKING SO LONG AT THESE PICTURES OF YOU...

WEEK 23

This may be a bit late but this was Little Bean's Halloween costume. She was a little cute skeleton....rrrahhhhh. She is on her side, her head on the left (rrrraahhh) and her cute belly on the right (check out dem ribs)

Trick-or-Treat :)

Now, she is still on her side but you may see her left-hook coming your way...WATCH OUT! She is too funny, that little one.

We have a total of 5 pictures but these were the best ones. The machine in exam room 3 sucks!! I'm gonna request a different room with a better machine (room 4 where all the magic began). I want great photos of her! I know, I'm being pushy. Actually our doctor gives us far more pix than we should get. He even has us hide them when we leave. He loves us! He does, he does 'cause after his examination, I said, "That's it?" And he jelled up my belly and gave us a few extra minutes :) I know, know people, I am pushy but I was dying to see her move...he luvs us!!

LET, LET ME IN...

WEEK 22.6

Absent-mindedness at its finest.

I locked myself out of my house!!! Yup, I did. I was homeless for about 3 hours after I got home fairly early to work on school stuff and relax and this stupidity happens. I just had had a victory by scoring the last 2 copies of the LA Times in my 'hood (I think in LA to be honest) and my mind, somewhere else, 'caused this dumb turn of events. I obviously was not thinking or focusing.

Okay, so this absent-mindedness is to prepare me for motherhood, right? I am to focus on my child while nothing else is that important. Does this mean I'm gonna lock myself out with my Little Bean inside? Cr*p, I'm in big trouble people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna suck at this if I don't get it together...

[GULP]